Well today was a good day sorta! Mom and I talked about how we feel like we are being punished or exiled from any help. See, my aunt is usually here on Wednesdays and Fridays. Well, she cant make it right now do to financial hardships. Then my moms best friend was coming up for a few weeks which would have been a huge help but on the way here her and her husband had a very scary accident. Both of them are fine thank God!!! They were thankfully in God's own hand during that accident. Needless to say, my brothers don't help often so we are feeling like we have been exiled from help. We are left with trying to figure out ways for mom to be OK alone for an hour or 2 for me to take my kids to the doctor or practice.
In the middle of our talk we realized that we are being exiled not because we are un-deserving but bc we need to rely on God and not man. This was a major breakthrough for us at that moment.
We talked about how if she does not get better, I will never have that wedding cake she has been dreaming of making me since I was 2. She will never see her grand-kids basketball games and cheerleading activities. She will never see what the other grand-children grow up and do. She will never attend my own wedding with or without the cake.
Why is it that we are being attacked so much when people who are not Christian's walk around winning the lottery and have loads of money to take care of their families. Why do non- Christians seem to have everything the desire and we as Christians are ALWAYS struggling. I know its not just our family. I see so many people at church who have everything they want and they have no issues seen by the outside world.
We just sat here crying for like an hour about how none of this is fair. We do everything by the book. We are very strong believers. We tithe, and pray from sun up to sun up, we read the bible. Most of all we believe and love Jesus Christ and except him into our lives. And yet, our lives the past few years have been so much struggle. It almost feels like we have been forgotten about by God. I know we have not!!! I see and am thankful for blessings everyday. But the big things we need help with, there is none.
Everybody who has wanted to help and said they could, has been attacked in one way or another. WHY?! Is it solely because we need to depend on God? Or is it because Satan wants us to crack? Well guess what?! Even if we crack God still has our back!!! So, we just duck and pray and hold each other. We will be fine because God says so. A break would be nice though.
And that's my rant!!! Time for bed!!! Please leave a comment or join my page for more updates on mom! Physically she is doing ok! Mentally she is tired of being sick and tired. She feels as if she is a burden but she does not understand that she is not! We are where we are supposed to be.
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